Median Lake got another foot of snow this week. The sun came out and warmed us up above freezing for maybe an hour, at high noon on Tuesday. That mostly served to re-establish the glaze of ice on the sidewalks — best we can do in February, on the prairie.
In weather like this, I expect you think we spend all our time huddled indoors. And you’d be right! But diners are indoors. Church fellowship halls are indoors. Coffee shops are indoors. The Rainbow Garland Tavern, the only gay bar between Des Moines and the Twin Cities, just a block off of Main Street on Third Avenue, by the Larsson Brothers Hardware? That’s as indoors as you get. And whatever else you might say about folks getting together in diners and fellowship halls and coffee shops and bars, it usually doesn’t make for a quiet week.
Steven Kramer, who tends bar at the Garland most nights? Well, he’s more or less the only person in town you might call an events promoter, and he’s been running ragged.
Mondays are Showtune Night at the Garland, so Steven was on the piano taking requests for most of the evening. The Monday crowd is pretty small, but it’s not really a quiet start to the week, since he’s got to keep an eye on the bar and provide three hours of entertainment. And then also Jason Rushford showed up and spent most of the evening requesting songs from Wicked and Dear Evan Hansen, which Steven plays only under duress.
Jason’s just 18 — his mom, Debbie, lets him go to the Garland because she and Steven were in high school together, so she knows for certain the kid won’t be served anything stronger than a Diet Coke. Steven is trying to nudge Jason towards Sondheim and Herman, but it takes time to develop taste, in musical theater as in all things, and right now all the kid wants is another rendition of “Defying Gravity”.
This Monday, when Steven put his foot down and refused to even attempt “Let it Go”, Jason rolled his eyes and — taking a sudden look at an alert on his phone — said that it didn’t matter, he’d just made plans with someone, and headed for the coat rack to find his parka. Steven always very studiously avoids asking what Jason’s “plans” might be at moments like this. That’s because he doesn’t like to pry, and because he wants plausible deniability if and when Debbie asks about those plans. Anyway, once Jason left, he could break out “Ladies Who Lunch” without any heckling.
Tuesday, Steven ran the drawing for bingo night at First Avenue Lutheran — that’s the church with the Pride flag hanging by the door. It’s also where the Rushfords attend, and Steven caught up with Debbie at the prize table at the end of the night. She’d won a free mani-pedi at Bergen’s Bargain Salon, and wanted to know if there was a day next week when he could join. She also wanted to know whether Steven had any idea what was going on with Jason lately. The kid’s been out late several nights in the last week, in spite of the snow. Last night he’d gotten home after midnight, claiming to have come directly from the Garland — and absolutely reeking of skunk.
Steven very quickly pointed out that the Garland is nonsmoking, so Jason must’ve lit up after he left the bar.
“No, not pot,” Debbie said, “actual skunk.”
“Don’t they hibernate?” said Steven, “I could have sworn they hibernate.”
“Apparently not,” said Debbie. She’d had to raid the pantry for tomato juice at one in the morning! But, she asked, did Steven remember if Jason really stayed at the Garland that late?
Steven hemmed and hawed, and said he didn’t recall exactly. Debbie’s known him long enough that she raised a skeptical eyebrow, and Steven quickly said he’d give it some thought and get back to her, and then ducked away to help pack up the bingo cage.
Wednesday night, Steven was managing the kitchen for the weekly covered dish dinner at Lakeview United Methodist. That’s the church without the Pride flag hanging by the door, but they’re a big enough congregation that they hire catering staff for fellowship meals, and even a potluck needs someone to set up tables, lay out dishes, and clean up after.
Vexillological choices notwithstanding, some of Steven’s best friends are Methodists, and he caught up with a couple during the dinner. Annette Jackson, who has been known to show up for Disco Night at the Garland, caught him by the kitchen door. She just about talked his ear off: Her daughter Jessica took first place in the state science fair over the weekend, and her son Kevin just finished up a really strong freshman season on the football team at Median Lake State College, but he’s also struggling with his GPA, and she thinks he’s maybe having girl troubles. Then Joe Gustafsson, who runs Joe’s Diner, right around the corner from the Garland, came around recruiting folks to complain about sidewalk clearing downtown at the next town council meeting. Steven asked after Joe’s dad, Joe Senior, who has hip replacement surgery coming up, and promised he’d make time for the meeting.
And then he had to start cleaning up, so he could be done in time to catch a late shift at the Garland.
Thursday, Steven unpacked the bingo cage again for Drag Bingo night at the Garland, which he hosts in full face and stiletto heels, under the name Tater Tot Hot Pants. There was a big turnout, and Ms. Pants scored a pretty good haul in tips, even if folks in Median Lake haven’t really come around to the idea that you can tip a drag queen in bigger denominations than one-dollar bills.
Jason Rushford showed up, but he was quieter than usual, keeping away from the crowd. After bingo, when Tater Tot got back to working the bar, Jason came over and ordered a seltzer and lime, and the reason for his reticence became plain: he still hadn’t totally shaken off l’eau du moufette. (Steven minored in French at the U of M, and Tater Tot takes full advantage.)
“Oh honey,” said Tater Tot, “where on Earth did you find a skunk in February?” Jason shrugged and said it turns out they don’t hibernate. He eventually explained that he’d been over in the little wooded park on the lakeshore, and he’d surprised the skunk by the State College boathouse.
“Monday night in the woods?” Tater Tot said. “in this weather?”
Well, Jason said, he wasn’t planning to stay out in the woods. “We were headed in to campus.”
We were headed?
“I was,” Jason said quickly.
“Whatever you say, hon,” said Tater Tot. But, she added, if that wasn’t a lesson about sneaking around the park at midnight, nothing would be. There are some dangers you can’t prevent by stopping at the free condom dispenser on the way out of the bar!
(Steven, again, does his best not to know what exactly Jason gets up to in the vicinity of the Garland, but he’s been extra careful to keep the condom dispenser filled after he and Debbie decided to let Jason hang out there.)
Finally Friday night, Steven started the day covering the grill at Joe’s Diner, so Joe could take his dad up to Rochester for that hip replacement. Then when Sandra Martin showed up to take over for the dinner crowd, Steven legged it across Main Street to DJ for Disco Night at the Garland. Which, he had to do that, because if he hadn’t been available he wouldn’t have had a reason to say no when Chase, the Garland’s go-go dancer, asked yet again if he could maybe try out some of his electronica sets. The Friday crowd wants Donna Summers, Steven knows this from long experience.
It was another big turnout, and Steven was managing the turntable and taking requests at the end of a long week, so he didn’t spot Debbie Rushford early enough to duck out of the DJ booth before she was there in front of him, waving. You can’t really make small talk while “Macarthur Park” is playing at full volume, but Debbie leaned into the booth and shouted that they ought to have a drink, and then between sets she sat down at the bar and he couldn’t really avoid joining her.
So, she said, when he’d mixed her a fresh vodka soda, did he have any new intel on Jason? The skunk thing had gotten her pretty worried — she’d gone from vaguely suspicious about all the late nights to knowing for a fact that Jason was making risky choices. Steven tried to calm her down, but also admitted that he knew the kid had been in the park down by the lake when it happened, and maybe on the State College campus.
Right about then Annette Jackson leaned in to the bar to order a rum and Coke, and turned to Debbie and said sorry, she couldn’t help but overhear about the skunk. Those critters must be really out and about, she said. Just a couple days ago her Kevin had come home from the dorm with a load of clothes she’d had to soak in tomato juice half a day before they could even go in the washing machine.
Steven looked at Debbie, and Debbie looked at Steven. And Steven suddenly remembered how he had Debbie had become real friends in the first place.
Back in high school, Debbie had been nice enough to Steven, considering she was captain of the field hockey team and he was a bit player in the drama club. She ended up marrying her high school sweetheart right after graduation, and Steven hadn’t stuck around long enough to give that much thought. By the time he moved back to Median Lake, Debbie and Allen had three kids — and their oldest was just about ten years old. Then one evening Debbie came by the Garland, looking a little uncomfortable. She sat down at the bar and ordered a vodka soda, and then another vodka soda, and then a third one, but just as Steven was squeezing in the lime she blurted out a question: how old had Steven been, when he knew he was gay?
Jason had just turned ten. And for his tenth birthday, Jason had requested a party theme based on Disney’s “Sleeping Beauty”. He was, Debbie explained, really into the three sparkly colorful fairies who protect Princess Aurora — but he especially loved the bad one, Maleficent.
Steven considered, very briefly, telling Debbie that it was way, way too early to know Jason’s orientation. But he weighed this polite deflection against the overwhelming evidence of the kid’s excellent taste in Disney villains, and decided it was better to give it to her straight. So to speak.
He told her well, you can’t know anything for sure at this age, but it definitely sounded like Jason was leaning that way. He told her a bit about how he’d come out in college, and the friends he’d made, and a few of the friends he’d made out with. (He edited the list on the fly, more or less successfully.) He told her how, from what he could see, Jason was growing up in a world that was better, in a bunch of ways, than what Steven had had to work through. And it sounded like Jason had a pretty strong sense of himself. For comparison he, Steven, had certainly not had the nerve to ask his mother for a Maleficent-themed tenth birthday party. And he told her, very carefully, that it was going to be okay. Jason was going to be okay.
By now Steven and Debbie had been staring at each other for long enough that Annette was starting to look puzzled, and Steven had let the Coke tap overflow the drink he was mixing for her. He came to and dumped out the glass and poured a double shot of rum and filled it up properly, and he handed it over. And he looked at Debbie again, and she shrugged, and nodded.
And so they turned together to Annette and started to explain that they were pretty sure they knew what was up with Kevin — and that it was going to be okay.
Offered with apologies (to the extent apologies are necessary) to Garrison Keillor. This is a new thing for me, and there might be more if it goes over well? For the moment, if you’ve enjoyed it, consider donating to help turn out the vote for progressive candidates this November.