An order of service for the first congregational church of Carl Kassel

Introit: “All Things Considered Theme” (arr. for organ)

Leader: The time is now seven minutes past the hour. I’m Terry Gross. From whence cometh our news?
Congregation: Shallow, adversarial coverage holds sway, on broadcast as it is on cable.
L: From whence cometh our commentary?
C: Humorless, unreasoned opinions are a swelling tide all around us.
L: Yet behold! A gust of Fresh Air for those living in the shadow of Fox.
C: What is this Fresh Air?
L: Our news cometh from Public Radio.
C: Thoughtful, in-depth reporting is the salvation of our days.
L: Our commentary cometh from Public Radio.
C: Measured discussions of relevant issues make our minds easy.
L & C together: Thanks be to listeners like you.

Passing the Peace
The Congregation are invited to stand and congratulate each other on their intelligence and good taste.

Congregational hymns (G. Keillor, song leader)
# 142, “Tell my why”
# 576, “Swedish folksong”
# 606, “Gimme that old-time religion”

All those attending are invited to participate; follow the usher’s cue to walk up the aisle, accept a piece of bagel from the host, and dip it in coffee in the Morning Edition logo mug.

Reading of the Headlines (L. Hansen)
National: Justice Department begins investigation into Congressional fundraising scandal
International: Chinese government cracks down on provincial uprising
Science: Researchers create first human-sheep hybrid embryo
Quirky: Missoula man bicycles from Anchorage to Lima to promote alternative fuels

Our Top Story (S. Simon, special correspondents K. Levine, R. Krulwich)
Global warming: close to home (part three of five-part series)

Meditation (D. Schorr)
This President might be pretty lousy, but he’s no Richard Nixon.

Congregational response: Thanks be to our correspondents!

Hymn of response (I. Glass, song leader)
# 337, “James K. Polk” (They Might Be Giants)

Pledge Drive
Offertory: Selections from The Peter, Paul, and Mary Reunion Tour (available on CD as a thank-you gift for persons pledging $75 or more)
Please place your pledge cards in the tote bag as the ushers pass it down each row. If you are already a member, consider increasing your membership level, or giving a gift membership to a friend or loved one. The ushers will hand out thank-you gifts in the narthex after the service; all new members will receive a subscription to Local Arts Magazine.

Leaders: Behold, you’ve wasted another perfectly good hour.
Congregation: Don’t drive like my brother!
Leaders: Don’t drive like my brother!

Recessional: “Little Deuce Coupe” (Beach Boys)

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